“A Past in Hiding” - Memory and Survival in Nazi Germany by Mark Roseman
“The rain is streaming down, but still how beautiful it is: camping by the lake. How one lives when close to nature, to weather and time, to the animals and the sounds of solitude. I can’t tell you how beautiful it is! At first I was worrying about the weather and thinking I could enjoy it and feel happy only if everything were bathed in sunlight. But now I realize that’s not true. Everything, including oneself, is more alive when the clouds and the rain and the wind are all about. I feel like the grass and the leaves, exposed, utterly open to the elements. It’s beautiful! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
To be totally oneself, without distortion, without a mask, without qualification. To open oneself fully, to forget oneself and only then to find oneself.
To be all senses; feeling, seeing, hearing. And to want nothing, to just take what comes; to taste and enjoy it.
Waking up in the dawn after an astoundingly warm and good night in the tent; bathing in the reservoir in the morning surrounded by the mist as it moves across the water. And then hiking through the puring rain; woods, fields, meadows. At one point a rain-drenched cart, otherwise no sounds, no evidence of people nearby. The path led across a hill through wisps of cloud, then through a wood rich with the fragrance of wet pines. At one point, a horse out to pasture whinnied happily at the unexpected interruption of its isolation. It sniffed me up and down, chewed at my sprig of broom and walked with me to the end of the pasture. Elsewhere, I surprised a couple of cows. Behind a gorse-covered hill two farms squatted together, like children huddled in the rain. A thousand good thought wandered with me through mist and rain, above all the strong desire to have a friend by my side, someone to share the experience with me.
Sometimes on the way you explore a stretch through the woods and then have to retrace your steps to the main path. You must erase this detour from your memory so that later you don’t lose your way home. And it occurred to me that life’s often like that; you can take a wrong path and so easily lose sight of your goal. It’s so good to be able to plan out the mistake until you can find the right path. Then you can look at your mistake, evaluate it, and above all, learn to accept it…”
A handwritten excerpt from Marianne Ellenbogen’s diary from June 2nd, 1944, while living underground in Nazi ruled Germany.
Books | 28.12.2007 15:30 | No Comments
When I started doing theater in LA, my only wish was to get the next gig, to get cast. I auditioned weekly in neighborhood theaters, across town and across the city.
After doing theater for a few years, my wish extended to belong to a theater company. I didn’t want to have to drive around anymore. I wanted to find a theater locally that had a good reputation, that had great actors and directors and that produced meaningful plays.
I started going to different theaters weekly, seeing plays, checking them out on-line and looking at their past reviews. I was asking friends about which theaters they liked and I got to meet some board members to find out about their policies and about their community participation.
Some people said they will help me get into their company and some said they will refer me. The people who offered to help, didn’t and the referrals from the others never happened. Some theater companies moved out of town because the rent became too high and some theaters closed.
It was not easy to find something local that had all the things that I valued in a community theater. I was aware that if I was to join a company I had to like the members, the productions, the neighborhood, and I had to be willing to put in company time…And of course they had to like me as well and I would have to pass the audition!
I auditioned for one company that I liked. The audition was a great experience but I didn’t get in. After my audition I heard from every person that knew this company that I should be glad that I didn’t get in. Members as well as non-members were walking away from it because the company lost it’s original mandate, it’s creative mojo, and they didn’t treat their members well.
I got discouraged because I thought that the company was good. I did my research, watched their plays, looked up all their history on-line and I realized that I didn’t know anything about the company. I decided that I’m not going to audition for a company anymore. But my goal was still to join a community theater, but only after working with them on a production.
My wish was still the same but I changed how I would go about joining. I started auditioning for theater companies instead of for independent productions. And luck came my way…
A director/actor friend of mine, with whom I worked with 6 years ago, called me and invited me to be in the play that he was about to direct for a young theater company in Burbank, called SkyPilot Theater Company. The play was TAKING SIDES by Ronald Harwood. Mike, the director, gave me the script and told me that I can choose either of the female roles. I read the play, loved every word of it and chose the role of Emmi Straube.
We rehearsed for one and a half months, days, nights, and weekends and I fell in love with the actors and with the company. I wanted to be part of the SkyPilot Theatre! I wanted to be associated with them and I wanted to be amongst these amazing actors for many more productions!
I worked my ass off. I promoted the play, brought in people, even organized a bike ride to fill the seats and to show my friends how awesome this company was. I built the company a website and I posted the production on several theater related sites for free. I made myself available whenever they needed me. I worked like I was obsessed and it paid off.
After the play ended, one of the producers asked me if I was interested in joining the Company. I tried to stay cool and just told him that I’ll think about it, but before I could finish the sentence I jumped into his arms and said “Yes! Yes! I would love to!”
I can’t tell you how happy I am about becoming a member of the SkyPilot Theatre Company! I’m ecstatic! I’m proud because I worked hard and I earned my Membership. I’m overwhelmed to be amongst these talented actors who have a vision and the passion to work on stage. I’m honored and I’m thankful for them for seeing my passion, my love, my dedication and my talent to invite me to to make my wish come true!
Goals | 13.12.2007 11:32 | No Comments