Today we had our fourth rehearsed for X (TEN) a play written by Cindy Marie Jenkins. The audition was already nerve wrecking for me (more about that later) but todays rehearsal I really dreaded. Oh, how I dreaded it. Today was the day that I was going to sing solo in front of the whole cast…
Singing is for me a phobia that I want to face this year and being cast in a play where I have to sing is the best thing that ever happened to me in my theater life! But this date just came too fast for me and I didn’t even get to rehearse with Tom and Brian, who help me to overcome this fear.
So for a week now I have been listening to the songs on my computer and on my iPod. Stephen GC composed the music to the songs and wrote CDs for each cast member to rehearse.
I have been singing for two days straight, while I rode my bike, while I walked to the grocery store, at home, and everywhere else where no human ear that could hear my voice. I was so scared about this rehearsal, I even started to get a headache and a stomach ache.
But I wasn’t going to chicken out! I wasn’t going to let Cindy and the cast down but most of all I wasn’t going to let myself down. This was my chance to overcome my fear.
So I arrived at rehearsal, we received our revised scripts and we started reading. I had no idea when my singing was going to come up because the script was new. I was sweating and my heart was beating like crazy. I could feel it in my throat. I was getting more and more nervous as we flipped the pages.
And then there was the page. Stephen was going to start the first chorus and then I had to jump in. Just as I opened my mouth to sing, one of the actresses next to me started to sing my song as if there was no tomorrow. She sang loud and confident and I sang under her cover, not knowing if I should be thankful or angry. And then the song was over.
I looked around, and nobody stared at me as I expected. They were all looking at their script, reading. The sky didn’t fall, nobody laughed. Maybe because they didn’t really hear me? Maybe they will stare at me on Mondays rehearsal?
Now, hours later sitting here at home, I’m relieved that I didn’t sing alone and that the actress next to me was “covering” me. But I know that on Monday I will have to deliver. And even though I’m already scared at the thought of it, I’m actually looking forward to facing this monster. Wish me luck!
TEN, X | 22.03.2008 23:30 | No Comments
I sometimes consider myself to be lucky that I’m a working actor.And other times I’m reminded that I’m working so hard that I should not consider anything luck but the fruit of my sweat that I put into everything I do.Anything I touch from morning to night I do for the love of acting:
- I design websites not only to make a living, but so that I can apply that skill to promote myself and my projects
- I photograph productions, so that I can meet other people and get to know the different theatres
- I work with the SkyPilot Theatre not only because they are an amazing company but also so I can learn about the process of running a theatre
- I helped out on the Voices From Chornobyl film shoot, not only because I love my director, but also so I can learn about the process of making a film
- I teach at AFI through the SAG Conservatory, not only because I love to help actors, but also so that I can learn about myself and meet others in the industry
- I volunteer at Women In Theatre so that I can meet people and so that I can get them excited about Theatre in LA
- I go to plays and to see movies to learn and to support my friends
- I promote my friends who I work with so that I can promote my projects
- I blog to share my passion…
Everything I do has something to do with acting and the creative process.I find myself the most relaxed on set or in the theatre. That’s where I can finally breath, focus and be myself.That’s the only place, where I can feel my skin from the inside and where I can feel my heart beat. That’s where I really feel alive.I have been working monthly and weekly on one project or another and I love it. I always look forward to those few hours where I can be directed, where I can relax, where I can be amongst the creative people that feed me, encourage me and guide me.So am I lucky that I’m working? Am I lucky to know the people who cast me? Am I lucky to be cast?Maybe I’m lucky that I have the health and the energy. Maybe I’m lucky that I have a passion for something that most people are looking for their entire life. Maybe I’m lucky that I met the people who I love working with.But I don’t think I’m lucky to be working. I work very hard every day to keep in touch with the people. I work on staying in touch with my self. I work hard in promoting my shows and my projects. I work hard to support my fellow actors, directors, producers and writers. And I work hard on my craft every day!
Performances, work | 22.02.2008 1:09 | 1 Comment
- Most of the cast and crew are urban cyclists
- We shopped at a “Made in America” store for wardrobe
Last Sunday the cast of “One Night Kickstand” met at the director’s apartment to go over the story board and to view the video of the test bike ride that was shot a week before.
Everybody arrived by bike and one guy arrived via the Red Line. That was way cool! Sustainable actors. Woohoo! We talked about the shoot, the dates and our roles, ate some yummy pizza and then we watched the video which was amazing!
They shot with some high end digital camera that made everything so beautiful, so crisp and the colors so vivid, I loved it! And more then anything, I loved the fact that they were shooting from a bike trailer instead of from a car. Woohoo!
And yesterday the director, the wardrobe designer and I met at American Apparel to look at some wardrobe for me. It was pouring rain and I decided to walk instead of bike. When I arrived, I was very happy to see that the director rode his bike.
This production should definitely win the Most Sustainable Production of the Year Award, if there is such a thing.
One Night Kickstand | 24.01.2008 21:37 | No Comments
I shot a music video/documentary last Sunday on a very sort notice. I worked with the director, Danielle Stallings, about 8 years ago and this shoot was the result of her submitting to a competition and being one of the finalists who had to finish a short film within a couple weeks.
So she came up with a music video/documentary concept that involved some beach shots, forest scenes, a bus ride and lots of plants. Danielle also interviewed some people who started the “counter culture” in the 70s and the interviews were part of the documentary.
Danielle bought some plants to use for the filming and all the actors who were involved were given the option to keep the plants at the end of the day. To my surprise nobody took the plants home. Well that was good for me because Danielle gave me all the plants that I wanted and so I took all of the small plants and I left her with the big ones that I had no room for.
After the shoot they all looked wilted and exhausted. I put them on my patio next to each other, gave them some water and now, three days later they all look healthy and happy. If you can’t pay me for a shoot, I will work for food as any other actor but I will also work for plants or a bicycle. 
Filming, Music Video | 16.01.2008 16:37 | 1 Comment
Sunday I had an early call time. I met Danielle, the director, at 7:30 am at Marina Del Rey. It was a beautiful day and I was looking forward to working with her again.
We started with a few shots at the beach and when the rest of the actors arrived, we took a quick breakfast break and continued to shoot with the group.
Hanelle Culpepper, the director of Six and the City and A Single Rose came to support this project, but this time not as a director but as an actor. (Hanelle I met at a film festival in 2002 and I stayed in touch with her since.)
Bill Philip, an actor I met at one of my classes and who became a friend, was also there as an actor and he was also helping out wherever needed. (I love to see people who are involved and whose eyes are everywhere and who help when needed. He is a person I know I would refer when the right role comes up.)
After the beach scenes we moved to a woodsy area for some twirling shots which was the last shot that involved all the actors. I had one more scene left which was very important to me and which was one of the reasons why Danielle cast me.
Danielle I stayed in touch with for many years and through my email blasts she knew about my advocacy on riding public transportation and on bike. So she asked me if I wanted to be involved in a music video documentary, where the main character rides the bus to the beach to plant a tree, which will grow into a forest.
Throughout the entire day I was thinking of this scene. It was important to me not to skip it. And finally we were on the bus, finishing the last shot and we wrapped for the day.
It is important to me that we show on screen that not everybody is in a car and to show that people ride the bus, their bikes and that people walk. It is important for me to show on screen to my friends and to the movie industry that there are people on public transportation who are not poor, who are not underprivileged, but who choose to ride instead of drive.
It felt awesome to work on something that is meaningful and that says something about doing good for the planet without being preachy. I love that there were no car scenes and I love it that my character who uses public transportation is portrayed in a positive light.
The shoot was a lot of fun and it was a fulfilling day for me. I hope Danielle will win the competition and I hope this short will screen at many festivals.
Filming, Music Video | 14.01.2008 12:02 | 1 Comment
Music Videos are cool, don’t you think? I always loved watching them (not much lately, though) and I even got to be in a couple of them through background work. And they were fun! Always! And it is always fun to see how the video is cut at the end.
Now I finally get the chance to be in one as a principal actor. Woohoo!
The director, Danielle Stallings, whom I worked with about 8 years ago on Haunted Planet, contacted me about her new project that is a commentary on the counter culture. She asked me if I would be interested and if I was available to shoot for one weekend in January.
Of course I said yes! And I’m looking forward to the shoot, even though I will probably have to be on set at 5 am. Ugh! That will be the hardest part of the shoot.
Filming, Music Video | 7.01.2008 15:01 | No Comments
Since everybody has their New Year’s Resolution posted, I have to jump on the bandwagon and post it also. I feel the pressure from my friends and family already and it’s only the 1st.
- Book a Commercial
- Book a Film (union and paid)
- Book a Stage performance
- Write a Book (My husband believes that I can do this and he is supporting me and inspiring me all the way)
- Write a script/screenplay (Cindy inspires me to do this and she will hold me to it. No way to back out of this one)
- Finish the CERT 3 ER course (I’ve been waiting for this course for 1 1/2 years)
- Write for Urban Velo (my favorite cycling zine)
- Learn to sing and play the guitar (in public - this is the scariest resolution of all!)
- Inspire some people to get out of their cars and walk, bike or take transit
Goals | 1.01.2008 12:12 | No Comments
“A Past in Hiding” - Memory and Survival in Nazi Germany by Mark Roseman
“The rain is streaming down, but still how beautiful it is: camping by the lake. How one lives when close to nature, to weather and time, to the animals and the sounds of solitude. I can’t tell you how beautiful it is! At first I was worrying about the weather and thinking I could enjoy it and feel happy only if everything were bathed in sunlight. But now I realize that’s not true. Everything, including oneself, is more alive when the clouds and the rain and the wind are all about. I feel like the grass and the leaves, exposed, utterly open to the elements. It’s beautiful! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
To be totally oneself, without distortion, without a mask, without qualification. To open oneself fully, to forget oneself and only then to find oneself.
To be all senses; feeling, seeing, hearing. And to want nothing, to just take what comes; to taste and enjoy it.
Waking up in the dawn after an astoundingly warm and good night in the tent; bathing in the reservoir in the morning surrounded by the mist as it moves across the water. And then hiking through the puring rain; woods, fields, meadows. At one point a rain-drenched cart, otherwise no sounds, no evidence of people nearby. The path led across a hill through wisps of cloud, then through a wood rich with the fragrance of wet pines. At one point, a horse out to pasture whinnied happily at the unexpected interruption of its isolation. It sniffed me up and down, chewed at my sprig of broom and walked with me to the end of the pasture. Elsewhere, I surprised a couple of cows. Behind a gorse-covered hill two farms squatted together, like children huddled in the rain. A thousand good thought wandered with me through mist and rain, above all the strong desire to have a friend by my side, someone to share the experience with me.
Sometimes on the way you explore a stretch through the woods and then have to retrace your steps to the main path. You must erase this detour from your memory so that later you don’t lose your way home. And it occurred to me that life’s often like that; you can take a wrong path and so easily lose sight of your goal. It’s so good to be able to plan out the mistake until you can find the right path. Then you can look at your mistake, evaluate it, and above all, learn to accept it…”
A handwritten excerpt from Marianne Ellenbogen’s diary from June 2nd, 1944, while living underground in Nazi ruled Germany.
Books | 28.12.2007 15:30 | No Comments
When I started doing theater in LA, my only wish was to get the next gig, to get cast. I auditioned weekly in neighborhood theaters, across town and across the city.
After doing theater for a few years, my wish extended to belong to a theater company. I didn’t want to have to drive around anymore. I wanted to find a theater locally that had a good reputation, that had great actors and directors and that produced meaningful plays.
I started going to different theaters weekly, seeing plays, checking them out on-line and looking at their past reviews. I was asking friends about which theaters they liked and I got to meet some board members to find out about their policies and about their community participation.
Some people said they will help me get into their company and some said they will refer me. The people who offered to help, didn’t and the referrals from the others never happened. Some theater companies moved out of town because the rent became too high and some theaters closed.
It was not easy to find something local that had all the things that I valued in a community theater. I was aware that if I was to join a company I had to like the members, the productions, the neighborhood, and I had to be willing to put in company time…And of course they had to like me as well and I would have to pass the audition!
I auditioned for one company that I liked. The audition was a great experience but I didn’t get in. After my audition I heard from every person that knew this company that I should be glad that I didn’t get in. Members as well as non-members were walking away from it because the company lost it’s original mandate, it’s creative mojo, and they didn’t treat their members well.
I got discouraged because I thought that the company was good. I did my research, watched their plays, looked up all their history on-line and I realized that I didn’t know anything about the company. I decided that I’m not going to audition for a company anymore. But my goal was still to join a community theater, but only after working with them on a production.
My wish was still the same but I changed how I would go about joining. I started auditioning for theater companies instead of for independent productions. And luck came my way…
A director/actor friend of mine, with whom I worked with 6 years ago, called me and invited me to be in the play that he was about to direct for a young theater company in Burbank, called SkyPilot Theater Company. The play was TAKING SIDES by Ronald Harwood. Mike, the director, gave me the script and told me that I can choose either of the female roles. I read the play, loved every word of it and chose the role of Emmi Straube.
We rehearsed for one and a half months, days, nights, and weekends and I fell in love with the actors and with the company. I wanted to be part of the SkyPilot Theatre! I wanted to be associated with them and I wanted to be amongst these amazing actors for many more productions!
I worked my ass off. I promoted the play, brought in people, even organized a bike ride to fill the seats and to show my friends how awesome this company was. I built the company a website and I posted the production on several theater related sites for free. I made myself available whenever they needed me. I worked like I was obsessed and it paid off.
After the play ended, one of the producers asked me if I was interested in joining the Company. I tried to stay cool and just told him that I’ll think about it, but before I could finish the sentence I jumped into his arms and said “Yes! Yes! I would love to!”
I can’t tell you how happy I am about becoming a member of the SkyPilot Theatre Company! I’m ecstatic! I’m proud because I worked hard and I earned my Membership. I’m overwhelmed to be amongst these talented actors who have a vision and the passion to work on stage. I’m honored and I’m thankful for them for seeing my passion, my love, my dedication and my talent to invite me to to make my wish come true!
Goals | 13.12.2007 11:32 | No Comments